by Samuel Rainey
"Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment." ~ Proverbs 12:19
I love what author Flannery O'Conner quips about telling the truth. She says, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you odd.”
It’s my experience that there is a direct correlation with the amount of time it takes to tell the truth and the severity of betrayal in a relationship. In the case of Rashad and Susanna (the couple I introduced at the beginning of this series), when he confronted her with her overspending, it was not uncommon for her to withhold the full truth or outright lie about her behavior.
I have worked with hundreds of couples who have experienced a wide range of betrayal. Usually the most difficult to repair are acts of sexual immorality by a spouse. And it’s almost always the same: Spouse finds evidence of betrayal, confronts their partner, and some part of the truth is told, and a large part of the truth is withheld. Then, over the following days, weeks, and sometimes months, the full truth seeps out of the offender like a slow leak on a car tire.
This slow leak of truth always delays and impedes the healing process.
The idea of telling the truth doesn’t sound so hard. Pretty simple, right? Just tell the truth. But take a moment here and pause. Is there something in your life that you’re withholding or hiding from your spouse, or from someone else that you love? Is there a secret you are keeping that would hurt another person? If there is, ask God what you need to do with it as you read the next several paragraphs.
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