Why is it that one of life’s most difficult relationships is often between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law? Or sometimes a son-in-law? Most of us have high hopes for these relationships before they become official. We imagine getting along, spending time together, and liking each other. And yet all too soon individual relationships suffer from misunderstandings, missed expectations both stated and unstated, and hurt feelings.
When I became a MIL 3 times over back in 2018 and 2019, there wasn’t enough written about doing MIL well. I gave my new role a lot of prayer and intentionality. I think you’ve hit on three of the most important issues to having good relationships with my adult children’s spouses, and I appreciate your wisdom.
MIL role is hard work. My relationship with one Donny DIL’s has flourished and by serving her, she and I have developed a good friendship and trust. What has become more complicated is when her parents presume my actions have other intentions. The easy part is acknowledging how that could have been hurtful while being misunderstood. However, Dealing with my hurt feelings AFTER the conflict has been hard. Avoiding the “other in laws” has been my default and it’s wrong. I don’t want that to affect the growth and trust I have made with my DIL
When I became a MIL 3 times over back in 2018 and 2019, there wasn’t enough written about doing MIL well. I gave my new role a lot of prayer and intentionality. I think you’ve hit on three of the most important issues to having good relationships with my adult children’s spouses, and I appreciate your wisdom.
MIL role is hard work. My relationship with one Donny DIL’s has flourished and by serving her, she and I have developed a good friendship and trust. What has become more complicated is when her parents presume my actions have other intentions. The easy part is acknowledging how that could have been hurtful while being misunderstood. However, Dealing with my hurt feelings AFTER the conflict has been hard. Avoiding the “other in laws” has been my default and it’s wrong. I don’t want that to affect the growth and trust I have made with my DIL