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Janet klumb's avatar

Since my husband is home all the time after retirement , I found I lost that part of me that lived around my children’s lives. I have 4 children, with 23 grand and great grandchildren combined. I want to do fun things with and for all. But my husband feels left out. I’m creative and love to teach. I always want the time to be constructive. He is just goofy with them which is fine. He wasn’t allowed as a child to feel goofy - kids had their place. It’s been hard for me to let go of controlling the times as me being the center. So I have purposefully stepped back when asked to get together with them and said I needed some time to catch up alone. That way he can be who he is with them .

Also with my older grandchildren , I ask permission to share something I’ve learned rather than force it. I ask their opinions and respect what they say. At 73 years old, it is hard to understand the extreme pressures they feel in society so if I don’t ask first, they won’t listen. I’ve found the best relationships are with those who dress strange and dye their hair as a cover up to their fears. Inside they are lost.

Over control is not fun either. It’s based on fear. “God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind.” 2 Tim1:9 is my go to verse.

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Kathy Guzman's avatar

This is just want I need to read today!!! I am too involved has been my thought...but now I realize no, I'm all tangled up in concerns for a grand's health issues and protecting our daughter. All of which is not mine to untangle. Thank you for wise counsel, prayer is the answer for all issues on this table. And when I see my adult children making choices that are risky, I will remember 'loving detachment' -- not my life to live. Blessings.

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